A Balancing Act

“When a man is prey to his emotions, he is not his own master.”

~ Baruch Spinoza

I am terrible at multitasking. And not conventional multitasking, in which one completes multiple tasks simultaneously. My troubles arise from my inability to separate my emotions from the management of the many facets of life: academics, relationships, personal aspirations, spirituality, and so on. When my mind is clear and my path imagined, there is nothing I don’t believe I can achieve. There is an intrinsic willpower and determination in my DNA, something that I didn’t always know existed. However, emotions cloud my judgement. And these clouds orbit around my meticulous mind, turning an efficient and logical machine into one driven by irrational and momentary feelings. It’s too early to tell whether this will be my Achilles heel or my Trojan horse. Perhaps the effect will one day be synergistic instead of counter-productive — when the puzzle pieces fit just right.

It is 10:20 on an insipid Sunday night. Storm clouds roar just outside from where I lay. As I listen to the silence of night, broke by the battering of the rain on my second story window, I can’t help but feel the same.


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